Cancer Songs

Ray Warke's EC Songs & Lyrics

EC Limericks

This is a collection of limericks that the members of the EC-Group wrote. These poems reveal that we have a lot of bad poets on the list, but more importantly than that, they reveal the humor that can be found in a difficult situation.

The humor ranges from very dark, to very irreverent, to just plain funny.

We hope you enjoy them, and the insight they provide.

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There was an old shopper in Dallas
Whose gastroenterologist practiced with malice.
He warned the old gent:
"If you eat beans you will excessively vent
and your esophagus will develop a callus!"

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A shopper and avid consumer,
Developed a malignant tumor,
When Blue Cross paid the bill,
It gave her such a thrill,
That she cried, "I'll take one or two more!"

---

The oncologist at the "C" clinic
Said, "Dear, it won't be a picnic.
But if you'll pay each big bill
I'll have dough in the till
To send all my kids to Cal Polytechnic."

---

It took "three score and two"
To learn not to offend 'you...you...and...you.
But now without warning
My stomach starts storming
And I'll *BELCH* right out of the blue!

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The esophagus truly is fickle...
To repair costs you one pretty nickel
And don't get an urge...
for what makes you purge..
Please... don't eat a big garlic pickle..!!

There once was a man from MO
Who got EC which knocked him down low
But then he got better
And became a go-getter
And camping in Minnesota he'll go!

---

The up-to-date baby boomer,
When faced with a cancerous tumor,
Eats raw shark and green tea,
Grape seed, vitamin 'C',
And develops a dark sense of humor.

---

There once was a fellow named Gus,
with a stomach as his esophagus,
after surgery and chemo and rad,
('cause that's the best that they had),
he never regretted the fuss!

---

Thanks to cancer esophageal,
At last I can see the whole deal --
To be born is to die,
And to laugh is to cry,
And life's point is to keep down a meal.

---

With a stomach quite a bit smaller
You can fill it up for less than a dollar.
The food gets there quicker
Without using liquor,
"And the neck size, sir?" "Oh..a much narrower collar!"

---

Here was a lightfooted guy from Cal
Who wooed a tough talkin' gal.
He knew he'd made a connection
When he 'fessed up his affection
and she whispered a soft, "ah, gee, Al."

---

Too bad for my poor brother Steve..
His tough news is hard to believe
His motto to beat
was once: "All you can eat"...
Alas, it's now all you can heave!

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My sweet Joe from New Yawk City,
Got EC but still he was witty.
He called up his folks,
And told them great jokes.
He wanted a party, not pity.